just a brief hiatus from trip recapping right now (at work and no access to my pictures, grrr)…. and since I’m skipping class tonight, i’ll post another this evening later ;)
wow, a real blog post! i think my 400 years of silence are over. i’ve been literally brimming with things to say recently.
so i went on a little walk to get away from my cubicle. beautiful, breezy wednesday morning. great weather for contemplation.
" 'cause i'm not the strongman
i am the one in need ”
i dislike being around people who think too well of me. those who feel as though I have it all together and i have no issues and can do no wrong. those that i know will always, without fail, praise me for something in conversation with them. this might be odd…. i know…. and i’m a little weirded out putting it on the blog considering it could come across as, “ugh, can you say ‘self righteous’? ” or “oh, jen is so humble and holy” because that’s not even it. i assure you.
i feel as though I might be playing my “part” too well. and i’m honestly not trying to manifest a certain image of angelic-ness.
are we to appear strong to others?
are we to wear our hearts on our sleeves?
i still don’t totally know the answers to those questions.
what i do know is that definitely Do Not have it all together and i need.
i feel as though I might be playing my “part” too well. and i’m honestly not trying to manifest a certain image of angelic-ness.
are we to appear strong to others?
are we to wear our hearts on our sleeves?
i still don’t totally know the answers to those questions.
what i do know is that definitely Do Not have it all together and i need.
i need.
i need God so much. more than anything i crave. more than my life.
yesterday was tuesday. tuesday’s are tiring. oh so tiring.
8 hours of work, then a class, then hightail it across Dallas to prayer/Bible study.
during the “hightail it” portion yesterday, i reflected on my need. the Lord has spared me from many a policeman, especially on tuesday’s, a few months before. i felt such a great need for Him then. after class, i would cautiously speed (oxymoron) to church because of the intense need i felt to go to the altar and lay it all down yet again.
did i need more in this time than ever before? it sure felt like it! but that’s all it was: a feeling. and feelings are dumb.
my need for God has not diminished. it has, in fact, grown. every day it grows more. and the fact that i’m not currently an emotional basketcase makes me aware of how easy it was to see & feel my need in the past.
may I never lose my ability to need.
yesterday was tuesday. tuesday’s are tiring. oh so tiring.
8 hours of work, then a class, then hightail it across Dallas to prayer/Bible study.
during the “hightail it” portion yesterday, i reflected on my need. the Lord has spared me from many a policeman, especially on tuesday’s, a few months before. i felt such a great need for Him then. after class, i would cautiously speed (oxymoron) to church because of the intense need i felt to go to the altar and lay it all down yet again.
did i need more in this time than ever before? it sure felt like it! but that’s all it was: a feeling. and feelings are dumb.
my need for God has not diminished. it has, in fact, grown. every day it grows more. and the fact that i’m not currently an emotional basketcase makes me aware of how easy it was to see & feel my need in the past.
may I never lose my ability to need.
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4 comments:
I need Thee, oh, I need Thee
EVERY HOUR I need Thee...
It's a humbling realization.
that it is! OH, how that song makes me cry everytime i hear it!
AWESOME post Jen!!! Have you ever hear the song... deep inside this armour, this warrior is a child? Its REALLY good! aNYWAYz WELCOME BACK TO BLOGLAND!!! LOL!!!
AAAAAAA!!!! dude, i LOVE that song!! that's an OLDIE! Twila Paris, i recall! now, i'm gonna have to hunt it online to give it a listen.
thank you, thank you, it's great to be back!
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