me = good enough

hmmm, where to begin??

i've been churning on this post in my mind for a while... like, for a few months really but i've never figured how i would start it. or even what to title it. craziness! it's part informative/part venting/part self-disclosure. funny how being a blogger still doesn't make self-disclosure any more comfortable for me!

ok so, around may of last year i made a rather big decision in my life: i decided that i would no longer chemically straighten / relax my hair. if your hair is nowhere near the excessively curly state that mine's is, you may be thinking, "and the big deal is....?" but to other people, this statement can elicit an audible gasp, an "Are you for real?", a "But why?", etc. see, it's a straight haired girl's world, for the most part. our society is heavily influenced by the european standards of beauty.

the problem is when a large group of people who have tightly curled hair {sorry, i've never been a fan of the word "nappy/knappy"} decide that they need to have straight hair because their hair isn't "good enough" or they do not possess the coveted "good hair" {loosely curled hair}. isn't it odd that my hair is called "natural hair" since i don't chemically straighten it but hair that has been chemically altered is just called "hair"? isn't that backwards?!

so i've pretty much always hated my hair. i've wanted to have hair like the little girl on the box of the Just For Me or PCJ hair relaxer kit, LOL! SOOO many black little girls wanted her hair! but alas, i wasn't born with "good hair" {i CRINGE every time i hear someone use that phrase}.

i've scoffed internally at preachers when they declare that hair is my glory. Glory?! umm... more like Shame! it's not growing so who cares if it's uncut? in actuality my hair was growing BUT it was breaking also so i could never retain length. thus, it never seemed to get any much longer.

so what spurred me?
- i was in a funk last year and i needed change. like, big time major change. 
- i was kinda tired of going to the salon. seriously, i am hightailing it across town to go to your salon and i still have to sit and Wait for you even though i have an appointment? oh, and pay that much? um, no.
- a book i had picked up at west coast conference 2009 by Juli Jasinski called "Her Ebony Glory". i remember scoffing at the book when she began to talk about not relaxing our hair.
- my convictions. yep, i've had this nagging thought for a few years now but never did anything about it: if i shouldn't dye my hair because i'm changing it from my natural color, why should i relax it and change it from its natural texture?

so i took the plunge and let me tell you, it was one of the best decisions i have ever made. God is bringing me closer each and everyday to more self-acceptance. do i love my hair now? i'm getting there.... i'm not in love with my hair but i don't hate it anymore.... in fact, i like it now and THAT, my friends, is one giant leap for mankind. my hair is not bad hair, it is Good Hair because God made it and it was Good Enough for Him.

and besides,  why would anyone argue against  having heathly, strong hair with less breakage and more growth??? all to conform to society's beauty standards.

hair is a hot button issue among some for sure. what prompted me to write this today was a conversation i had last night. "so, you mean you're never relaxing your hair again?" nope. "well, what if you meet a guy and he won't marry you unless you relax your hair?"

um.... if i met a guy and he said, "you know, i really like you but you need to do something about that nose"
should jen run to her laptop and check out if her job's health insurance covers plastic surgery?? noooooo...

see, it's really sad but you'd be shocked to know how many people feel like the person in the above convo.

so, i try to brush off the ignorance. it's all i can do.
after all, i am good enough in His eyes, right?

{ i suppose it would seem fitting that i stick a picture in this post but i don't really have hair pics! and i'm sporting french braids today. so yeah. :) }