whoooooooooooooa!
i've reached an inevitable and yet odd stage in my life.
mid-twenties = every other week, a friend gets engaged/married/pregnant/new baby. crazy crazy crazy
you know what this means.... THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!
naw, i'm just getting old.
eeekk, confession- i have said that i am a chronic planner. so in the timeline i contrived, i was supposed to be married by now. as in, before my 25th birthday... which is Exactly 1 month from today, so i have time. any takers? ha!
thankfully, i do not put very much stock in my so-called destiny anymore but it makes me wonder about the place i'm in right now. the fact that i am not where i so badly wanted to be before doesn't bother me that much. maybe i'm relieved that i have a bit more time to gain more wisdom and hopefully a bit more money! maybe i'm glad to have the time to finish my bachelor's degree by next spring without major distractions. and perhaps that d-word might be setting in- disillusionment.
oh dear sirs merriam and webster, what does this mean?
to free from illusion; also : to cause to lose naive faith and trust
now don't get me wrong. i am a person of faith and without faith in God, i am nothing. but.... why should i care so much about my previous hopes when they aren't coming to pass? why pursue those dreams? it's not in my hands anyway. and how do i even know if any of those dreams will ever come to pass? what is the purpose of hope? to long for what i cannot (yet or ever) obtain?
i know all of the "hope" scriptures. LOVE the one that talks about "hope deferred". one of those "well meaning but annoying adults" in my life recently asked me, "but sister, don't you have a dream?". well, yeahhhh but i throw things at my biological clock. i didn't tell her that though :)
hmm, not sure how to end this entry... so....
Thursday, June 3, 2010
men and babies and biological clocks
am i crazy?
Posted by jennifer lord at 8:04 PM
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2 comments:
Wow, we are like on the same page!! It's good to hear someone who knows exactly how I feel and how they are dealing with it. I Will be 25 on August 3!!! Noooooooo. But during this waiting period, I won't take the experience or knowledge I have gained for anything in the world. I have my bachelors degree and I have had the opportunity to work with just about every ministry from bus to music, u name it. I look at this way, I won't be walking clueless into what higher office God calls me into. It's frustrating but will be worth it!!!!
oh goody, i'm not alone in my craziness, hee hee!
so true, regarding "experience and knowledge gained". this year isn't halfway over and i feel as though God has given me a whole year's worth of lessons in a crash course!
"I won't be walking clueless into what higher office God calls me into. It's frustrating but will be worth it!!!!" - great perspective! i need a huge dose of patience and trust-- both of which have never been my strong suit!
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