i always feel like..... Somebody's Watching Me

let me start off with this: i honestly do count it a PRIVILEGE to serve God in the psychotic world that we reside in.

some years ago, i heard a message from Bro. Steve Pixler entitled "Redefining Normal". in this mortal life, we believers are the "normal ones" in God's eyes. in the eyes of the overwhelming majority, we're actually the "peculiar people", in the modern day, literal sense.

i just looked up "peculiar" from the Greek in 1 Peter 2:9  -- what it actually means there is:  a people for acquisition; a people for God's own possession.

hey, that's pretty cool!! but the world shakes their collective heads and says, "umm no... you guys really are crazies."

i am very okay with being considered strange or different. it comes with the territory.

but recently, i've gotten a bit annoyed with it all.
i don't want to look like the world. i really don't care to blend in with them. what i want is to be invisible.

i often wish that i could really get into people's heads and hear their thoughts. why are they looking at me like that?

sometimes i know that people can see a difference in me and are wondering what it is.
sometimes the looks are of disdain -- "why is she wearing so much clothes? it's hot!"
sometimes i can interpret the stares. sometimes i can't.

i hate being stared or gawked at. 
sometimes i wish the whole world would mind their own business!
it's not the right attitude, i know. i need to be an example of God's love and goodness, i know.

can anyone else relate? or is it just moi?